Stepparents gain a family when they marry a spouse. Especially when the children do not have regular contact with their other parent or when they are quite young, a stepparent may feel a strong bond with their stepchild.
Eventually, they may want to make that bond official to protect their relationship. Otherwise, if their spouse dies or they divorce, they could be at risk of losing access to the stepchild they love. Stepparent adoptions are a way to officially recognize the role of they can continue showing up for a child even if their marital status changes in the future.
Stepparent adoptions often begin with family discussions. Stepparents and their spouses may talk about the idea of adopting. They may also need to discuss the matter with the child in question. Before having that discussion with the stepchild, however, a stepparent may want to first complete the most challenging element of a stepparent adoption.
The other parent must give their consent
Especially when a stepparent has spent years providing social, financial and practical support for a child, they might assume that an adoption is easy to complete. However, the other parent of their stepchild has a say in the matter.
Unless the other parent already died or the state terminated their parental rights, their permission is necessary to move forward with a stepparent adoption. Even parents who do not consistently show up to spend time with their children may push back on the suggestion that they surrender their parental rights and responsibilities.
The stepparent and their spouse may need to have a difficult and in-depth conversation with the other biological parent of the stepchild. In some cases, the family might negotiate an arrangement in which the parent could still occasionally allow regular visitation by the other parents. Doing so is beneficial for the child if they have a healthy relationship with the parent. Other times, the prospect of ending child support obligations might be enough to inspire a parent to authorize a stepparent adoption.
Given how difficult such negotiations can be, it is often beneficial to wait until after resolving parental permission matters to talk with a child about the idea of adoption. After everyone in the family gives their consent, then the next step involves filing the appropriate paperwork with the California family courts.
Pursuing stepparent adoptions can be beneficial for the adults in a family and the children they love. Understanding the challenges involved in the process can help people overcome the hurdles that could otherwise prevent a successful adoption.